So, yep, that’s that.
This week I completely fell off of the wagon. Lately I’ve been talking the talk but finding it increasingly difficult to walk the walk, and it finally caught up with me.
There is good news however, while weighing in online I realized what my problem is:
Since Christmas I’ve really struggled to get back into things and the weight has slowly crept back on. I’ve not been dealing with it, just letting it happen, which has made me start to feel really guilty, I’ve had some moments of self-loathing and doubts as to why Josh should care about me if I don’t care about myself. Yep, it got pretty dark at one point.
My solution is to wipe out my history. I’ve asked the admins to remove my awards, and clear out my progress, starting from scratch at today’s weigh in of 213.8 pounds. This way there’s no crushing guilt from knowing that I’ve wasted the hard work of last 6 months, or feeling like I’ve climbed a huge hill only to roll back down and have to start again even though I’m already exhausted.
That all being said, we are going on vacation this weekend. It’s time for PAX South in San Antonio! We are super excited and I plan on being off-plan until Tuesday, from then it will be Slimming World all the way. Josh has even agreed to do it with me, one hundred percent.
So, we’re going to do a lot of walking and eating, be complete nerds and have a great time!
Until next time,